Start !

What is it that I want to do in this world?

What is my destiny ?

What is my purpose?

Why am I alive ?

Are all humans born and die living a life similar to what everyone lives….

Should I also follow a path, that will give me money, comfort, a family, children, then grandchildren and then die….

Will I be satisfied with this life…..

These are questions I ask myself often……

I am at a stage of life, where the path ahead is not clear.

There are far too many roads, but no clear direction of which one to take. Is it that every human faces this conundrum at this stage of his life.

I have heard of people talking about finding ones passion but over the course of 22 years, I fear i am in no way committed to a single cause or passionate about something to that extent. Gaming was something that fills me with joy and exhilaration, but i know that i is akin to the addiction of high that drugs give you. So that is not something i can pursue.

You may argue, this is just your brain speaking and ask me to listen to my heart. But then again, we are all conditioned to such an extent that, whatever un-conditioning you do, the brain has a small dominant role in your decisions.

So what am I to do at this stage other than continue on the path that is the most defined and where the end is at least to some extent clear. “Life does provide you with opportunities to branch out later on in life”, i say to myself.

The last time my friends spoke those words, i chided him for being foolish and told that, it was the biggest lie man tells himself.

Once one is caught in the cycle, its tough to shake off the inertia and come out of it, but then again I am someone who firmly believes that there is nothing called impossible. So I trudge on…..

This very exercise of writing my out thoughts right out of my mind, without alterations or editing, is proving to be helpful….

I feel as if I am a bit lighter and  I am sucking out these heavy thoughts right out my processor and depositing it here….

It is highly refreshing to write things as you think about them, without any break or transition in your thoughts.

This is something I should do more of, instead of wasting time playing AOE…..

I am literally blank now, no more thoughts seem to be entering my mind, its been ages since I have felt like this.

Stop, really should I stop now ?

I guess I should, time to sleep.

I hope to have a deep, uninterrupted sleep after a long time..